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Dear Diary, January 21, 1984 (to be followed by a BOOB post)

We go skiing on Wednesday. WE WON OUR SKI RACE against Fernie. By 4 points. It was close, but dad says that 4 points is alot. Mom went down the chair yesterday. I got 14$ for baby-sitting on Saturday. (There is then a drawing of me skiing down the hill)


Love Crystal


Did I keep your attention with the BOOBS?

Anyhew.... today was boob squishing day for me. It is never a pleasant experience. But we do it to stay alive!!!


So, for myself, I am not shy about my naked body.... many of you can attest to that. The only thing that I do not enjoy about mammograms is the pain I feel from my breast being squished in a vicelike contraption. In past years, the technician just cranked the vice until she thought it would provide a good picture I guess? *Seriously, for those of you who have never experienced one.... it's like those torture devices that you see in Braveheart and Outlander... that era.* This time, she actually asked me to tell her when she should stop cranking the vice, to tell her when it started to feel painful.... I think she got through 1/2 a crankπŸ”§


The technician is a lovely lady. She is respectful and kind. But, while she is telling me to take in a big breath and hold it.... I couldn't help but think, does she come up with a standard "conversation" for the day? Like, it has to be awkward handling women's jugs all day and try to make the experience "comfortable"? The conversation of course started with: Is it your day off? Where do you work? Oh, are they giving out the vaccination to you guys? (ugh... πŸ’‰ conversations... so over them). But then she said that they bought the space upstairs and that it will be all things mammogram! AI machines? Artificial Intelligence? πŸ€·πŸ»β€β™€οΈ. She said "They tell me that the experience will be more pleasant". I said "Really? I think squishing our boobs until they're almost ready to pop like a pimple, will always hurt... but πŸ€·πŸ»β€β™€οΈ". She told me, (and she has said this in past mammo's) that, some women don't find them painful. WTF? Just the sensitive breasty people. That would be moi, I guess! I like to think that I have a pretty high pain tolerance. Shooting two humans out my vag without any drugs.... Although... some present at the birth of said humans may have been wishing that I had had drugs... sorry Mom, Dad, Auntie Celine and Ken. Ok, so maybe I didn't tolerate it well. But I did it! Twice!!


I also don't want to scare all of you younglings who have not had the experience of a mammo yet..... IT IS NOT AS BAD as I may be portraying it.... πŸ€” If you have ever had a brazilian wax.... WELL, that fucker is painful and it is not like that. And I do not tolerate those well AT all, either. I also don't know if bleeding from said waxing is normal? That's a discussion for another day.


I have had a lot of coffee and my mind is playing ping-pong whilst creating a new symphony all at the same time...


Gotta go wash dishes. 🀘🏻😜


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