Dear Diary, January 21, 1984 (to be followed by a BOOB post)

We go skiing on Wednesday. WE WON OUR SKI RACE against Fernie. By 4 points. It was close, but dad says that 4 points is alot. Mom went down the chair yesterday. I got 14$ for baby-sitting on Saturday. (There is then a drawing of me skiing down the hill)

Love Crystal

Did I keep your attention with the BOOBS?

Anyhew.... today was boob squishing day for me. It is never a pleasant experience. But we do it to stay alive!!!

So, for myself, I am not shy about my naked body.... many of you can attest to that. The only thing that I do not enjoy about mammograms is the pain I feel from my breast being squished in a vicelike contraption. In past years, the technician just cranked the vice until she thought it would provide a good picture I guess? *Seriously, for those of you who have never experienced one.... it's like those torture devices that you see in Braveheart and Outlander... that era.* This time, she actually asked me to tell her when she should stop cranking the vice, to tell her when it started to feel painful.... I think she got through 1/2 a crank🔧

The technician is a lovely lady. She is respectful and kind. But, while she is telling me to take in a big breath and hold it.... I couldn't help but think, does she come up with a standard "conversation" for the day? Like, it has to be awkward handling women's jugs all day and try to make the experience "comfortable"? The conversation of course started with: Is it your day off? Where do you work? Oh, are they giving out the vaccination to you guys? (ugh... 💉 conversations... so over them). But then she said that they bought the space upstairs and that it will be all things mammogram! AI machines? Artificial Intelligence? 🤷🏻‍♀️. She said "They tell me that the experience will be more pleasant". I said "Really? I think squishing our boobs until they're almost ready to pop like a pimple, will always hurt... but 🤷🏻‍♀️". She told me, (and she has said this in past mammo's) that, some women don't find them painful. WTF? Just the sensitive breasty people. That would be moi, I guess! I like to think that I have a pretty high pain tolerance. Shooting two humans out my vag without any drugs.... Although... some present at the birth of said humans may have been wishing that I had had drugs... sorry Mom, Dad, Auntie Celine and Ken. Ok, so maybe I didn't tolerate it well. But I did it! Twice!!

I also don't want to scare all of you younglings who have not had the experience of a mammo yet..... IT IS NOT AS BAD as I may be portraying it.... 🤔 If you have ever had a brazilian wax.... WELL, that fucker is painful and it is not like that. And I do not tolerate those well AT all, either. I also don't know if bleeding from said waxing is normal? That's a discussion for another day.

I have had a lot of coffee and my mind is playing ping-pong whilst creating a new symphony all at the same time...

Gotta go wash dishes. 🤘🏻😜